Parents tend to forget that learning to write or buttoning a shirt can be difficult for a young child. In this fast-paced life, speed is everything. Sometimes, we can be impatient with our young children. We want our children to walk, eat, dress, learn and grow up faster.

Thus, empathy is an important part of being an effective parent. It is being able to see things from your child’s perspective and understand how your child feels, particularly the problems, struggles and difficulties they face in performing the simplest tasks.

Parents today faced a fair amount of pressure in terms of their children’s education, particularly urban parents. They are very conscious of their child’s performance and the competition from other students in class, their friend’s children or relative’s kids. When their child performs poorly, it’s like a loss of face for them.

The pace of development is different in every child. Some are faster, some are slower but in most cases, the child arrives at the same time. Parents’ role is to encourage, not pressure, a child to learn. They shouldn’t be overly stressed or worried when their kids are not the top students in school. Instead, parents should take an interest in their child’s education. Check their homework, help them prepare for exams and cover the syllabus.

The key is to motivate children to learn but not pressure them until they hate school and homework, or do homework because they are afraid of their parents. According to Dr Goh Chee Leong, effective learning involves opening a child’s mind, curiosity, interest and joy in learning. Most children have natural intellectual curiosity. It is important not to kill their joy of learning.

Some danger signs of this include a child losing her love of reading, ceasing to ask questions like before or starting to dislike things she used to love, like drawing or doing homework. The long-term sequence is that the child will lose her natural sense of curiosity and become an adult who does not learn new things unless forced to.

Some adults lack interest in general issues such as politics, economies or culture, but people who are interested are usually more successful and well-rounded. Some children are more visual while others more verbal or action-orientated. Parents should try everything and find the best method for their child. Obtaining balanced learning and development is the key.

Parents’ biggest mistakes:-

1) Parents still tend to emphasize academic development rather than the creative, social, moral and emotional aspects. The work environment today requires well-rounded individuals.

2) Parents not to spend enough time with their children. They need to spend at least an hour of quality interaction a day with their kids, talking, communicating or reading with them.

At each stage, there are different behaviours in children. Parents need to be firm yet encouraging and understand the developmental stage of their child. It is important to engage in their child’s learning, which is more than just the school curriculum.