Tuition, in this part of the world, plays an overrated role. The moment a child starts school, parents will start looking around for enough tuition classes to fill the child’s schedule. Some parents will even compare notes on who is attending which class and succumb to pressures to enrol their children for additional or unnecessary classes.

They are often plagued by questions like: “Am I short-changing my child?”, “Should I be sending her to that class although her mathematics is fine?”. Parents often place undue pressure on themselves to keep up with other parents.

Tuition classes these days merely replicate the exact atmosphere in school. Children who are already stressed by half a day of school and hours of homework in the evening should be allowed to spend the remaining hours of the day on active learning and participative education.

This could be in the form of hands-on, three-dimensional learning experiences which can be as simple as learning how to bake cookies or riding a bicycle.

When a parent is considering a certain class she thinks her child will benefit from, she should first check with the child.

The “ask, don’t tell” concept is an aptly-designed parenting theory most experts support. In this society we live in, it is hard to imagine an adult asking a child what he wants, especially when it involves something as important as her education.

It is not hard to imagine a playful child’s response: “No, I don’t want to go to that class, Mummy. I think it is going to be boring.” The fact is, she would rather spend her time drawing blobs of complete nothingness on pieces of paper strewn all over the living room floor. Now, think for one moment: what is so wrong with that?

What parents usually do is to enroll their children in classes and then inform them about it. This could lead to serious rebellion on the child’s part or complete ignorance. This defeats the purpose of getting them to attend the class in the first place. A good-intentioned effort then becomes a total waste of time and money.

We often hear that children learn through play. But how often do we put this theory into practice? The input button is automatically off when they are doing something they do not want to do. That is a fact we cannot deny.

Sitting through one and a half hours of tuition is not going to be as beneficial as rolling around in leaves, splashing around in water and painting in the fields, that is, if they want to.

Physical activities, swimming classes and dance classes are great as they promote physical fitness and boost brain supremacy.

However, if a child is not interested in the proposed activity, the parent should consider ceasing those classes all together. There is no point in continuing with the classes if your child is turning deaf ear and a blind eye to the lessons being taught.

There are always other ways to help the child to appreciate music, have a love for water and a passion for writing. They do not have to depend on qualified tutors or professional advocates. Nevertheless, do pick up the cues from the child if he is interested in something.

Breaking the cycle

Let’s start with the man in the mirror. First of all, parents should re-think how they want their children to behave and perform. We need to provide adequate learning opportunities for our children through “experience learning”.

Provide many opportunities for learning through chance and taking risks. Let them make the decisions and, of course, bear the consequences. This experience is vital to the survival of a child when he reaches adulthood.

Even if he does not remember a thing about how it happened, he will always remember the experience, either the entire ordeal or the consequence itself. No amount of teaching, screaming, reciting, reading, watching or listening can ever replace the powerful teacher in experience.

However, parents are not always the best teachers. We have projected expectations of our children and tend to expect more from them. After all, we are only human!

We tend to be a little impatient with our own offspring compared to other children. Therefore, we can conclude that a teacher who is a close friend of your child should be the neutral source of assistance when it comes to additional help.

Let your child run wild, be spontaneous, touch, express, love, laugh, reveal, revel, giggle, chuckle, be passionate about something and experience things on his own. That is the best tuition you can get.

written by Kana Kanagasingam